The Art of Mental Foreplay


Sex is more than the physical act. Great sex encompasses your entire being – mind and body. Explore how to use the art of mental foreplay in your next erotic encounter.

The most powerful aphrodisiac in the world isn’t some rare spice or phallic-shaped food. It’s actually something much more common. In fact it’s something every single person has… your mind. As Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” The real secret to great sex is to realize that once you’ve captivated your partner’s imagination, you’ve unleashed the core of their passion.

Mental stimulation is about using your imagination to connect you to your sexual feelings. Just as certain scents evoke different emotions, there are certain visual, physical and mental triggers that will evoke sexual feelings from your partner. The best laid seductions involve as many of the senses as possible. The real trick is discovering which ones are your partner’s favorites.

Visual Aids
For men, visual aids are high on the sexual trigger list. For women, however, they don’t always do the trick. Often, a highly suggestive movie such as Henry & June or 9 1/2 Weeks will do the trick. Even better, a how-to series may not only be informative, but could create a bit of passion as well.

  • Leave erotic notes for your partner to find.
  • Watch a weekly TV show such as Secret Diary of a Call Girl together.
  • Pose for erotic pictures with your partner behind the camera.
  • Send an erotic eCard.

The Sound of Erotic
Music has a way of creating a mood. Take advantage of this in your mental seduction. Pick out tunes that are mellow yet seductive such as Enigma’s Sadness (Pt. 1) or The Isley Brother’s Between the Sheets.  Music isn’t the only auditory stimulant. Erotic stories on tape or even the sound of your own voice telling your partner what you have planned can be equally as compelling.

  • Leave a seductive voice-mail for them.
  • Record a sensual short story and leave a CD in their car of the recording.
  • Whisper in their ear how much you want them.
  • Create an erotic playlist together.
  • Read erotic stories to each other before bed.

The Sensual Touch
The skin is the body’s most sensual organ. Get your partner in the sensual spirit with a sexual massage or a lingering touch. You can also use everyday objects around the house such as lingerie, silky sheets or furry pillows and blankets. Keep in mind that touch doesn’t always have to be something luxurious. Try various things such as ice or warming lotions for a different type of response.

  • Massage their body with lotion.
  • Wash each other with soap in the shower.
  • Experiment with a velvet paddle.

The Taste of Sex
Keep your partner satiated and mentally stimulated by bring sexually suggestive foods into the bedroom. Anything that can be hand fed is a great place to start such as strawberries, grapes, shrimp and cheese. Combine the touch and taste senses and turn your partner into a human sundae for something a little out of the ordinary.

  • Try a whipped cream bikini.
  • Create a chocolate sauce and take turns dipping fruit into it and feeding each other.
  • Create a dinner completely out of finger foods and take turns feeding each other.

Sinful Scents
Scent is probably the most powerful emotional trigger you can put to use. Each person’s tastes vary, but there are a few common scents that most everyone enjoys. Try scented candles, perfumes or lotions in scents such as roses, strawberries, citrus, vanilla or lavender. The more you try various things, the more you’ll know what are the best triggers for your partner.

  • Spray sheets with their favorite perfume or cologne.
  • Leave a fragrant flower on their pillow.
  • Burn fragrant incense before they come home.

What serves as your sexual mental triggers? Share your comments below!

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