Pornaments: Arouse Your Holiday Spirit

Christmas is a time of stress. The buildup of shopping, visiting family, and dealing with end of the year projects at work can easily turn the most wonderful time of the year into a nightmare. Want some stress relief?

Stress has two natural enemies that most of us forget about when things get hectic: humor and sex. A quickie or small joke can have tremendous effects upon a person’s mood. In the interest of achieving both of these glorious stress relievers we at Ambiance would like to introduce you to holiday gloom’s new enemy, Pornaments.

At first glance you might think Pornaments’ sole purpose for existing is as a white elephant gift. They are a cute gag to bring to a friend’s Christmas party. Your instincts would be correct that these ornaments make great gag gifts, at least to the right crowd. (Be careful before bringing them to the office, though.)

However, in keeping with the spirit of giving that surrounds Christmas, we would like to suggest another use; one that combines humor and sex into an unstoppable stress reliever for the holidays. The Sexy Pornaments Challenge.

Find a few Pornaments that strike your fancy, set up a Christmas tree in the bedroom, and surprise your lover occasionally through the season with a sexual experience inspired by the day’s Pornament. Have it on the tree each morning before they go to work and let them imagine what the night ahead will bring.

The Horny Express Pornament is perfect for the couple who is looking to explore the basics of S&M, from lite spanking to fuzzy handcuffs.

The Holiday Rush Pornament is an un-ignorable sign that no matter how much there still is to do before Christmas today you’ll be getting a quickie. If you’re feeling wild do it in a room you’ve never had sex in.

Some Pornaments are self explanatory. We trust you, and your special someone, will be able to figure out what to do with Santa with a Girl On Her Knees and the Christmas Pole Dancer. But even these more obvious Pornaments provide an opportunity to give your partner something they’ll never forget.

The real fun of Pornaments however comes with the ones who don’t naturally lend themselves to interpretation. There’s nothing like the all day build up of wondering what the Ginger Bread Pornament means. The release when your partner finds you waiting in bed with a can of whip cream will be worth the wait. If you pick the Nude Angel Pornament we suggest meeting your man at the door in something sexy that screams innocence. Whether that means Catholic School Girl or a simple skimpy set of lingerie is up to you.

And if you’d like to really blow his mind pick up the Girls Kissing ornament. Even if it just means you two cuddle up on the sofa with an erotic film, the day’s anticipation will be priceless.

The holidays are supposed to be fun. Why spend hundreds of dollars on lights to decorate your abode when you could be creating sexy, light hearted, stress-busting fireworks in your bedroom.

Which is your favorite Pornament?

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